Tag Archives: Truth

The One Who Calls Me Is Faithful

Faithful

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There are days I feel like I am walking on a tight rope and I think I might just fall at any second. In 4 years my life has changed so much. I’ve skipped a social class and had to learn how to live life in a completely different way. Poverty and Middle Class are so different. There are so many unspoken things people don’t tell you.

I’ve also gone from being alone to having an adopted family as well as family I married into. I’ve had to learn to rely on and trust people. I had to come to the realization that accepting help doesn’t mean I am taking advantage, incapable, or weak.

Like a Chameleon, I’ve tried to blend into new family groups as if I’ve always been in them when I have no idea what “family” looks like and I feel like I just stand out. 

I became a mom and had to learn to care of someone other than myself in a healthy way when I didn’t have anyone growing up who showed me what that looked like. I’ve had to learn nursery rhymes, bible songs, and baby talk. I’ve had to learn to trust, to be loved, and to live life day by day.

I’ve had to learn to stop preparing for any possible situation because I no longer have to worry about getting kicked out, being homeless, or having enough money to pay bills. No longer do I have to choose between having enough gas to get to school or feeding myself for the rest of the week.

I’ve had to re-train my brain to stop making plans for the “what if’s and I’ve had to learn to stop expecting the worst to happen because it won’t. I’m stable now and I have people around me that will help if something goes wrong.

I’m not on my own anymore. I’ve had to learn to accept help and to believe that I am wanted when I was told that I wasn’t for 20 years of my life.

*sigh*

That’s how I feel some days. I just have to take a deep breath and keep going. So much around me has changed and I’m not sure that I am keeping up. I feel overwhelmed and clueless. Like I’m not cut out for whats expected of me and I can’t ask for help because not very many people have walked in my shoes.

The one who calls me is faithful.

Whatever we are going through, learning, or having to re-learn. The one who calls us is faithful. If we fall off that tight rope He will catch us. We are called for such a time as this. To grow and to learn. To reap and to sow.

We have a divine purpose that is preparing us for those pearly gates. Whenever I lose hope or get discouraged I try to remember that. I don’t know what your story looks like. Maybe you moved to a new town or are in an unfamiliar season.  Maybe you started a new job and are overwhelmed with having to adjust to your new “normal.”

The one who calls you is faithful. Our God is the initiator, sustainer, and finisher in the midst of our messy moments. You don’t have to be in control and you don’t need to know the outcome because the one who knit you in your mothers womb does.

~ Lovelle ❤

 

Hope for the Weary Momma

Matters

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It was 2:30am and I was still awake cleaning my house. I had gotten sick so my normal pickup and decluttering got neglected. I knew that unless I sacrificed some sleep, the to-do-to list would just pile up even more. So despite having to be to work at 8:30 the next morning, I kept going until it was finished. Or so I thought….

It seems like every time I check one thing off of my list 2 or 3 more things pile back on. I’m never done. I’ve got a child to keep alive and a house to keep decent. Between cooking, cleaning, nurturing, and picking up after everyone I am left with little time to do things for myself. I can’t tell you how many times I haven’t sat down and relaxed on the couch until 9pm or later.

I’ve had moments of frustration and anger. Moments when I just wanted to run away because I didn’t want to be a wife or a mom. I’ve felt exhausted and overwhelmed. I’ve thought like I can’t live up to what I am supposed to be. And you know what…. I’m pretty sure I am not the only woman who’s felt this way.

We are woman
Nurturers
Care Givers and a fighters.

Our armor consists of baggy eyes, spit up, and cold coffee in our cups. We fight hard for our people because we desperately want what is best for them. We sacrifice  for those we care about and will do anything to make them happy. We love hard and oftentimes, that means pushing our desires to the side.

We complete the task ahead of us and the bags under our eyes don’t define who we are as a wives or a moms. What we do matters and it is appreciated. We will love our people hard and give them our because that’s what the Lord does for us.

Momma, I see you. I see those dirty dishes on the counter and that basket full of laundry. I see the living room that keeps getting messed up even though you’ve picked it up like 20 times in the last hour. I see those dark circles and that extra big cup of cold coffee. I see the weariness and I wish I could hug you and tell you that it’s okay. Fighting is hard work. 

Keep goin’ momma. What you do matters even if you don’t see it and don’t feel appreciated. It’s totally cool to choose sleep over that shower for the second day in a row. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Find joy in that mundane to-do list and don’t forget to ask God for energy. Love your people hard and hold them close. God sees your sacrifices and uses it. You are doing great.

~ Lovelle ❤

We Are One In The Same

 

Battles

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I wobble into chick-fila with one of my small group girls in tow. It’s late July and my pregnant belly is huge. My hair is a hot mess, I’m sweaty, swollen, my clothes are tight, and I’m ready for this kid to get the heck out of my stomach.

I order my meal that consists of fried goodness because anything green makes me want to vomit. I’m so hungry that I shove it in my mouth and manage to get sauce on the side of my face. Walking over and grabbing a napkin feels like too much work for this pregnant girl so I wipe off the mess with my sleeve. I look over to the side of me and am amazed at what I see.

I see three moms in workout clothes and messy buns that look super trendy and cute. All their meals are laid out with fruit and grilled chicken nuggets. Before I can become too amazed that they ordered grilled food at the best fried chicken place on the planet, I glance a little further and see all their children at the table across from them. They are all quietly eating their kids meal (that consist of grilled stuff too). I hear, “Yes please” and “thank you” coming out of each of their mouths.

I look down at my huge belly, take a whiff of the fried goodness that’s almost completely devoured, and glance at the chic-fila sauce thats all over my sleeve. Almost immediately, comparison hits me like a ton of bricks.

“Why don’t I look as cute as them?”
“I’ll never be that good of a mom.”
“Why can’t I make better meal choices?”
“Man, I’m so fat.”

The adversary is a sneaky little guy. He plants lies of comparison in our hearts because He likes to make us feel like we aren’t good enough. I think this is especially true for women. Everyone is fighting their own battle. Lets hold onto that truth today. We may not be able to see what’s going on but it’s there.

The adversary doesn’t pick favorites. He tries to attack anyone and everyone He can. God made you the way you are for a reason. You aren’t meant to be like anyone else. I think there’s something to be said in the fact that no one person has the same finger print. If God put all that work into making us so unique, how about we put that much effort into embracing ourselves the way He made us? That’s my new goal for 2018.

~ Lovelle ❤

P.S. I am booking speaking engagements for 2018. I know right??? It’s here already! If you’d like me to come speak at your event or church click on over here and I’ll prayerfully consider your request.

 

He Knows What’s Best For Me

Mantra-1

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At only 3 months old my daughter is a pretty determined and stubborn kid. She also has this talent of downing a bottle in like 3 seconds. When the bottle is empty she still keeps trying to suck that liquid gold out, and heaven forbid you take the bottle away if she hasn’t unlatched.

She’ll get mad and start screaming. She doesn’t realize that sucking on the bottle with only air coming out will give her a tummy ache and hurt her. She’s blind to the consequences but her dad and I are not.

I relate to my daughter so much because like her, I tend to be pretty controlling. I want every detail of my life drawn out with every step carefully plotted. Maybe even with a contract attached to it that says in big bold letters, NOT SUBJECT TO CHANGE.  I am unaware of the consequences and I tend to forget that in reality, my life belongs to God.

Like my daughter holding onto that bottle, I tend to hold onto the plans I’ve made and then I get upset when God changes them. I tend to forget how much pain I cause myself when I try to take matters into my own hands.

This past year God has changed all of the carefully drawn out plans I have made. Let me clarify… He didn’t rearrange them or tweak them a bit. He spun them 180 degrees, flipped them upside down, ripped up the contract, and dropped the ones I had made off the face of the earth. I handled the change about like my daughter. Maybe even a little worse. I walked into the new and unexpected season kicking and screaming.

My God loved me through my stubbornness. He wasn’t impatient or mad. He simply held me close and taught me a lot. When I mourned the life I wanted and walked into motherhood afraid of the unknown, He gave me peace and reminded me that everything was going to be okay.

I will never know what pain may lie ahead due to my carefully drawn out plans because God did what He knew was best. He guided my life the way He wanted because that’s what a parent does. My daughter is the gift I never knew I needed.

Motherhood is hard and scary. There’s times I am so overjoyed at her growth and theres times when I want to pull my hair out. I’d be lying if I said that at times I didn’t struggle with staying home. In those moments, I seek God and trust that He will give me the peace I need. Over and over again, I find myself saying, “Where you have me is enough.” I am learning to give up control and seek God before even making plans.

This is my new mantra: Lord, help me approach life with the confidence that You know what’s best for me.

~ Lovelle ❤

P.S. I’m doing this new thing called #soulseedsaturday. It’s a little bit of encouragement for your soul while you take on life like a boss. If there’s a specific topic that you could use some encouragement, I’d love to hear about it! You can post it in the comments or contact me here.

P.P.S. I am booking speaking engagements for 2018. I know right??? It’s here already! If you’d like me to come speak at your event or church click on over here and I’ll prayerfully consider your request.

 

God is in Our Suffering

 

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On August 28, 2017 after 16 hours of labor and an epidural that decided to stop working towards the end, we welcomed our precious little girl Eula Ellen Myers into the world at 9:03pm. She was born exactly 3 years to the day that I got adopted and gained a family. The Lord is so good. Our chunky monkey weighed in at 9 pounds 4 ounces and was 21 inches tall.

Two days into parenthood our little girl was up all night not feeling well. She cried for hours and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I’ve been through a lot of pain both physically and emotionally. I’ve walked a dark road full of abuse with a pain in my heart that I don’t even know how describe. I have memories in my head that are full of suffering and agony. I thought that I had learned how to handle any pain thrown at me.

As I held my precious baby girl in my arms and rocked her as she cried, my heart hurt in a way I didn’t know was ever possible. With tears streaming down my face, I kissed her chunky cheek and whispered into her ear, “I’m so sorry Eula. I love you so much.” I prayed hard that the Lord would help my little Ellie feel better. I learned in that moment that nothing is more painful than watching your child suffer.

Thankfully, the next morning was better. Ellie’s tummy wasn’t upset and she slept peacefully in my arms. As I watched her beautiful eyes flutter in and out of sleep, I realized something that will forever bring peace to my heart when my past tries to come back and haunt me. The pain I experienced while watching my little girl suffer was the same pain God felt when He watched me suffer growing up.

I looked at my little girls fingers and toes. I gently kissed her little head and thought about the miracle God created inside my womb. She’s a gift I’ve been given and I’m so blessed to be her momma. I thought about all that she’s going to get to do and the amazing family she’s surrounded with.

I thought about what she’s not going to have to experience. She will never go without love and will always be raised to follow the Lord. She has an amazing daddy that she has wrapped around her finger and an adopted family to look up to. Her daddy’s family loves her so much and are such great example’s too. God has given her a new legacy. She will never have to walk the road I walked. There will be so many new experiences we get to do together. Trips to the zoo, family vacations, and maybe we will get to take our first trip to disney land together one day. 

This won’t be the only time I will watch my child suffer. She’s got her own heart, body, and mind that I can guide in the right direction but in the end, she will make her own choices. She will get sick and she will get scrapes. She will fall down hard but I will raise her to get back up and keep trying.

I didn’t realize just how much my pain hurt God until I experienced it myself. Somehow, that realization makes me feel a lot better… When I was going through abuse and hardship I had always told myself that I wasn’t alone but now that I’m a parent, I actually believe it.

~ Lovelle ❤

Life and the Storms: This, Too, Shall Pass

It was a bright and sunny day and the temperature was perfect. Although I felt like winter lasted forever, the amazing weather I saw made me think that things were going to lighten up and boy, was I excited. I was ready for the warmer weather, and all that came with it like trips to the lake, pretty flowers, and walks outside.

I looked at my phone to find a notification from a local news station informing me that the area was under a severe thunderstorm warning. I scoffed at my phone in disbelief because from what I had observed, there was no way a storm was possible. The weather was amazing and there wasn’t even a cloud in the sky. A couple hours later the meteorologist proved me wrong, and the storm came down hard.

As I sat on my couch listening to the rain fall and thunder bellow outside my house I couldn’t help but think that this is what life is all about…

I was reminded that life is full of up’s and downs. The adversary has undesired surprises hidden in every corner. One moment things are fine and then bam, you are hit with an unexpected expense or sickness. Happiness is drowned in the midst of a storm. Through all the hardships that come from life, I am so thankful that my God is in control.

This too shall pass

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Are you going through a storm right now? Were you hit with a situation that seemed to knock you right off of your feet? Take heart, my dear friend, because our troubles won’t last forever. Our loving God is full of comfort and guidance. Even if you can’t see Him, He is present in your situation and there is hope because  this, too, shall pass

Thirteen Miles of Grace

I jumped out of bed as quickly as I could. Normally 6:17am hardly qualifies as late on a Saturday morning but in this case it did because I was supposed to be at the starting line of my half marathon that was thirty minutes away.

Even though the race didn’t start until 7am, it was necessary to get there 30 minutes early because there were 2,600 other runners that needed to line up too. Thanks to my alarm clock I was now running extremely late. I had less than 15 minutes to reach my destination.

I threw on my clothes and grabbed my stuff. My husband and I headed out the door as quickly as we could. God had favor on me and I arrived to the half marathon with 5 minutes to spare. I had a few problems though…

My late schedule caused me to run out the door without eating anything or even going to the bathroom. This meant that I had to run 13.1 miles with an empty stomach and full bladder. Running a half marathon is hard enough. Frankly, I didn’t need anything else to make it worse.

As I stood there in running position, waiting on the race to start Paul’s words from 2nd Corinthians 12:9 began to echo in my head. Over and over again I heard.

Grace

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So when the race began I held on to those words. As my feet hit the pavement I thanked God for my ability to run and begged him to help me get through this race. I finished the race in awesome timing. My goal was to run the half marathon in 2 hours in 15 minutes.

did it in 2 hours and 14 minutes. Yup, I beat my time by one minute even though I was running on no food. God’s power worked in my weakness. He helped me through the whole thing. 

Have you ever had one of those moments when you just thought that you couldn’t do it because you didn’t feel strong enough? Well heres the thing, you aren’t strong enough, but your Creator is.

His power works best in your weakness so sit back because He has got your back.

~Lovelle ❤