Tag Archives: Trust

What My Wedding Meant to Me

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On January 3rd, 2015 I experienced my wedding day and it was something I will hold close to my heart forever. You see, I come from a family of mostly shotgun weddings. Abstinence was non-existent and elegance was foreign. So as I looked at myself in the mirror with my white dress, make up, and well-designed hair I just couldn’t seem to look away.

Feel Pretty

“Lovelle, do you feel pretty?” my bridesmaid Lindsey asked me.

“Yes” I said in amazement. “Yes, I really do.“

My wedding symbolized so much more than marrying the man of my dreams. My wedding symbolized the redemption of a horrible past and God’s unfailing love. 

My white dress symbolized purity, a concept that was hard to accept because I was sexually abused. God really showed me the meaning of the verse in 2nd Corinthians 5:17. He says that those who find Christ are a new creation. Their old life is gone. They are made new…

My husband symbolized a broken cycle and true love with a person God chose specifically for me. As both of our families joined together and prayed around a corner (to keep from seeing each other before the wedding) I couldn’t be happier because even before we said “I do” we were able to start our new life off with a focus on God.

Family Prayer

I think one of my favorite memories though was the father daughter dance. It wasn’t even two years ago that I was without parents. I remember being on my knees praying to God. All I wanted was to be loved.

I never thought it was possible, but God answered my prayers by giving me two amazing parents and I can honestly say they are better than even my wildest dreams.

They were worth every bit of abuse.

They were worth the long journey of pain.

They were worth the confusion and every horrible situation I faced.

Father Dance

Its funny to me that the one thing that I thought I would never have in my wedding, God proved to be so. As I took my Dad’s hand and danced to our song I began thanking the Lord for the many gifts He had given me. When the song ended I grabbed my Mom and we all began to cry. We cried because we knew that this wedding wasn’t about us. It was about God, His ability to answer even the craziest of our hearts’ desires, and His ability to redeem.

In the past, I never really understood the significance of a wedding but now I do. It was the best day of my life and it was so full of joy. I want to relive this moment for the rest of my life.

My marriage was a celebration to God for everything that He has done. It was His love that saved me and it was His strength that sustained me. This wedding was proof that everything that was taken from me, God, in his love, redeemed.

~Lovelle ❤

My Lesson From a Homeless Woman

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She pushes a shopping on the sidewalk of a busy road with a torn jacket that doesn’t look very insulated in the thirty degree weather. Written all over her face is sadness.

You don’t have to look very long to see that this woman has had a hard life. 

Suddenly, her face lights up and she looks down at a little dog in the front of her worn out shopping cart with a smile. As I observe the situation I see the dog with a nice collar dressed a pretty sweater and the dog is wagging her tail with excitement.

Unlike all the people in the cars driving by, who didn’t even glance at the woman for a second, the dog looked at the woman with adoration and love.

As the light turned green, we continued on our way, and the woman disappeared behind the miles ahead of me but what I had witnessed in those couple of minutes taught me something.

Just like that dog, I want to look at people with the love and adoration. I want my life to be the hands and feet of Jesus and I want to do whatever I can to tend for his sheep.

Beauty in everyone

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That may mean giving a simple smile to a woman who was obviously ignored or possibly even donating some of my clothes to those who go without.

It could be opening up my heart, having a shoulder to cry on, and an ear that will just sit in silence and listen.

It’s funny to me that you could see that beautiful woman lived without so much, but when she smiled, you could see peace and contentment.

Contentment is learned not earned, and you could see that is how that woman lived her life.

Never disregard your surroundings because sometimes those who are counted as nothing, can provide us with the most important lessons.

God is Holding You Up in the Muddy Water

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When my fiance David was three years old he went to the pond with his grandfather. The pond wasn’t very clean in fact, It was so muddy that you couldn’t see the bottom even though it was only a couple of feet below the water.

Like most three-year old kids, David became curious about the pond and he wanted to go closer to the water.  David took his hand away from his grandfathers safe grip and moved his little feet closer to the edge of the pond. The consequences of his curiosity hadn’t crossed his mind.

Those rational thoughts were clouded by curiosity and unfortunately his coordination wasn’t very good. David had stepped a little too close and lost his balance. His little feet fell out from under him and he slipped into the dirty water below.

As he stood up in the water he began to cry hysterically, because he was wet and muddy and gross. Before he took those steps, he was clean but now, he was stuck in the muddy water and was immersed in filth.

When David’s grandfather saw him crying, he didn’t pull him out. Instead, he selflessly jumped in, walked to David, and held that little boy with his strong and protective arms. He softly whispered words of peace and wisdom into David’s ear until he calmed down.

Only then, when David had relaxed, did his grandfather carry him to the edge of the pond and help him out.

I think in life we get things mixed up. We naturally assume that God is here to take us out of our filth, but we forget that when it comes down to it, He is in the filth with us. The selflessness that Jesus had on the cross  when he took on our sin is a perfect example of that.

Muddy Waters

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 Just like David’s grandfather, Jesus disregards our sin and steps into our situation because sometimes, we aren’t supposed to be rescued from our filth. Sometimes the dirtiness is a learning point that we need to grow closer to Him.

It’s in the nastiest moments that we can feel God’s presence most… ❤

The House That Built Me

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It’s four am and I can’t sleep.

As I look at the bags piled up by the door tears begin to run down my cheeks and the realization of what’s to come floods my mind and emotions begin to fill my heart.

Today is the day that I leave the nest.

Today is the day I leave my home.

I remember the day I moved in like it was yesterday. The memories of this place will be forever etched in my mind because my home was my birthday present from Jesus. After three years of moving constantly, thirteen times to be exact, my prayer was answered.

I walked through the doors with a trash bag full of belongings and a painful past that followed me everywhere I went. I had never lived in a place that didn’t use the words, “this is my house!” and wherever I went I walked on eggshells.

I lived in constant fear that I would be kicked out. When I moved in I realized that here I was safe. I was loved and taken care of and the best part was that no one would take that away.

I made memories and had tender moments with many precious women. Sometimes, I laughed so hard I cried. I found community and I learned how to trust. It was here that I moved past the mindset that the only way to get through life was to survive.

My home taught me what grace is. I learned that I am good enough and I don’t need to earn peoples love. It was here I faced my fears, and I stopped running from my problems.

It was in these sacred walls that I found healing. 

I feel like I’m on top of a mountain succeeding after a long hard climb. I can take a deep breath because it’s going to be okay.

I have survived.

I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t scared of what’s to come. Life seems so uncertain still, and at times, it’s still hard to accept the fact that I am loved. One thing that I know for sure is that God is here and He will guide me in the unknown.

House that built me

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Home is where the healing is and Saving Grace will forever be the house that built me.

God Will Sustain

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She opens her Kindle and reads a passage from a devotional. Once she is finished she grasps one of my hands and signals for my dad to join in. He comes and stands beside me. In unison they bow their heads and begin to pray.

First my mom, and then my dad. Their soft and gentle words fill my ears with peace and contentment.

These past few weeks I’ve seen my mom and dad go through so much. I’ve seen them experience loss, pain, and stress. Despite every situation they encounter,  I see them walk through it with grace and beauty.

In every situation that is encountered, they take time to step back, process, and look to God the maker of heaven and earth.

Sustained

{These graphics are free for you to enjoy}

That moment with my parents is something I will never forget because I learned a very valuable lesson.

Through their example, I learned what endurance really means.

Endurance is being brave enough to express your emotions. It is admitting that you are weak because we can’t get through this life on our own.

Only through God can we succeed.

Endurance means digging into your word, even when your emotions say “no”.

It’s bowing your head and surrendering your day to God because ultimately, he is the one in control.

The world says endurance is doing it on your own, but the bible tells us endurance is through God. His power is shown through our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Endurance is not about us, It’s about Him. Remember that you are enduring when you fix your eyes on him.

Be Still

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As a runner with a goal-driven mentality being on the go is an understatement. Rarely does anyone find me sitting around. Between work, school, and various obligations I tend to find myself with a full plate and until recently I didn’t find anything wrong with that. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I never really thought about including God in what I chose to do. I thought that if I was being a good example and serving him then I was good.

God showed me how wrong I was by taking charge of one of the most important aspects in my life… MY JOB.

Since the age of 17 a job was a necessity and to be honest, it was my security. I knew that if I didn’t work, I couldn’t support myself so I took charge and always made sure I was employed.

Everything else in my life was chaos and out of control, but my job,  well that was one thing that always felt safe and secure and I loved it.

I loved going to work every day knowing that I was a hard worker  and that I wouldn’t be let go. I gained my identity in my job title. I loved the fact that in the hard life I was forced to endure, there was one thing I had control over and I did whatever I could to make sure that it stayed that way.

Be Still

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 I am learning through my internship what being still means. It means waiting on God to open doors and walking away from the ones he doesn’t want me to go through. It means being okay with the unknown and enjoying my job day by day.

Being still isn’t taking charge of a situation, it’s simply waiting on the Lord to reveal His next steps.

I feel like a little child that is learning how to walk. My little hands are holding on to God’s strong fingers for balance. As I look up at him with fearful eyes, afraid of my future, and not sure which steps to take, I see his gentle and loving eyes looking down at me.

He whispers ever so softly, “Daughter, I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall. I know which steps to take.”

I have this verse written on a chalkboard at my desk as a constant reminder. On those days when my mind is filled with worry, I can just look to this verse. At this point I have no idea where I will be working in a month, let alone a year but one thing I know for sure is that God’s plans will prevail.

When God said, “I know the plans  I have for you”  I believe that He meant it so I’m going to be still and wait on Him.

The best is yet to come… ❤