Tag Archives: Home

What My Wedding Meant to Me

On January 3rd, 2015 I experienced my wedding day and it was something I will hold close to my heart forever. You see, I come from a family of mostly shotgun weddings. Abstinence was non-existent and elegance was foreign. So as I looked at myself in the mirror with my white dress, make up, and well-designed hair I just couldn’t seem to look away.

Feel Pretty

Lovelle, do you feel pretty?” my bridesmaid Lindsey asked me.

Yes” I said in amazement. “Yes, I really do.

My wedding symbolized so much more than marrying the man of my dreams. My wedding symbolized the redemption of a horrible past and God’s unfailing love. 

My white dress symbolized purity, a concept that was hard to accept because I was sexually abused. God really showed me the meaning of the verse in 2nd Corinthians 5:17. He says that those who find Christ are a new creation. Their old life is gone. They are made new…

My husband symbolized a broken cycle and true love with a person God chose specifically for me. As both of our families joined together and prayed around a corner (to keep from seeing each other before the wedding) I couldn’t be happier because even before we said “I do” we were able to start our new life off with a focus on God.

Family Prayer

I think one of my favorite memories though was the father daughter dance. It wasn’t even two years ago that I was without parents. I remember being on my knees praying to God. All I wanted was to be loved.

I never thought it was possible, but God answered my prayers by giving me two amazing parents and I can honestly say they are better than even my wildest dreams.

They were worth every bit of abuse.

They were worth the long journey of pain.

They were worth the confusion and every horrible situation I faced.

Father Dance

Its funny to me that the one thing that I thought I would never have in my wedding, God proved to be so. As I took my Dad’s hand and danced to our song I began thanking the Lord for the many gifts He had given me. When the song ended I grabbed my Mom and we all began to cry. We cried because we knew that this wedding wasn’t about us. It was about God, His ability to answer even the craziest of our hearts’ desires, and His ability to redeem.

In the past, I never really understood the significance of a wedding but now I do. It was the best day of my life and it was so full of joy. I want to relive this moment for the rest of my life.

My marriage was a celebration to God for everything that He has done. It was His love that saved me and it was His strength that sustained me. This wedding was proof that everything that was taken from me, God, in his love, redeemed.

~Lovelle ❤

Update: I’m Changing Some Things!

If you have visited my blog recently then you have probably noticed that things are a little different. The pretty sunflower is gone and the layout is replaced by a boring one. As depressing as it is, I’ve got some amazing news! It won’t be like that forever…

Sorry

I’ve had this secret for a while but I wanted it to be a surprise. I feel like Mentos inside of a bottle of diet coke! I think I just might explode with excitement… I am in the process of rebranding my blog thanks to the amazing Lisa Larson from The Copper Anchor. I am so honored to be teaming up with this fabulous and talented woman and I am even more excited for the changes that are coming soon. Thank you for your patience! Just like any situation life brings, God has an awesome way of making beauty in our messes.

~Lovelle ❤

The House That Built Me

It’s four am and I can’t sleep.

As I look at the bags piled up by the door tears begin to run down my cheeks and the realization of what’s to come floods my mind and emotions begin to fill my heart.

Today is the day that I leave the nest.

Today is the day I leave my home.

I remember the day I moved in like it was yesterday. The memories of this place will be forever etched in my mind because my home was my birthday present from Jesus. After three years of moving constantly, thirteen times to be exact, my prayer was answered.

I walked through the doors with a trash bag full of belongings and a painful past that followed me everywhere I went. I had never lived in a place that didn’t use the words, “this is my house!” and wherever I went I walked on eggshells.

I lived in constant fear that I would be kicked out. When I moved in I realized that here I was safe. I was loved and taken care of and the best part was that no one would take that away.

I made memories and had tender moments with many precious women. Sometimes, I laughed so hard I cried. I found community and I learned how to trust. It was here that I moved past the mindset that the only way to get through life was to survive.

My home taught me what grace is. I learned that I am good enough and I don’t need to earn peoples love. It was here I faced my fears, and I stopped running from my problems.

It was in these sacred walls that I found healing. 

I feel like I’m on top of a mountain succeeding after a long hard climb. I can take a deep breath because it’s going to be okay.

I have survived.

I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t scared of what’s to come. Life seems so uncertain still, and at times, it’s still hard to accept the fact that I am loved. One thing that I know for sure is that God is here and He will guide me in the unknown.

House that built me

{These graphics are free for you to enjoy}

Home is where the healing is and Saving Grace will forever be the house that built me.

Home Is Where The Healing Is

The sun shines down and the wind blows from the east. It’s a perfect fall day full of wonderful memories that are in the midst of being made. I look at the girls that I have gotten to know for the past year and a half sitting at a table on the patio. The sweet sound of laughter fills my ears and warms my heart. Every girl in my house is so beautiful, so wonderful, and absolutely amazing. They are my gift from Jesus after years of prayer.

Laughter

{These graphics are free for you to enjoy}

I have lived in plenty of homes before this one. It’s been 13 different homes in 3 years time to be exact. I have heard the phrase “This is my house!” thrown in my face too many times to count.

I have seen yelling, abuse, anger, sadness, and misery.

I know what it feels like to live in virtually any situation you can think of.

I know what it is to be flat on your face, crying out to God and screaming, “Lord protect me! Please help me!” only to hear silence and feel empty…. I know what it is to be angry at the world and  towards my creator.

In my head are memories most people couldn’t even handle. Things that no one knows or will ever see.

I know what it is to be tormented by nightmares and flash backs of situations you just want to forget. I know what it is to fake a brave face so that everyone thinks your fine. I know what it is to not feel good enough, and unworthy.

I also know what it means to be free and that freedom is something my home has given me.

I never knew what a home was until I stepped through the doors of Saving Grace. Life had taught me that living in a home doesn’t mean that it’s your home. It only means that it’s the place you lay your head at night. So as I watched those beautiful girls on the patio I understood what the significance of a home was for the first time.

It’s a place full of memories and crazy conversations. It’s full of good times and encouragement. It’s a place where you can be yourself and let down your walls. It’s a  safe and protected area where no harm can be done. It’s a place to find freedom from the past and a place where you can put your focus on God.

Soon I will leave my house and become a wife. I thank God every day that at the age of 20, he gave me my first home, by bringing Saving Grace into my life. Although I am sad to leave, I am ready for the future that lies ahead. My past has taught me that  even in the scary moments God has my life in the palm of his hands.

I feel like I’m on top of a mountain. I have finally made it after a tough, and extremely long climb. As I look down I can see every struggle and I see God through it all. I can finally take a deep breath, because it’s okay. Through God I have made it.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of this new and completely unknown thing called “being a wife”. Sometimes I wonder if I am capable of  providing a home for my husband when I don’t fully understand what living in a stable home means. There is one thing I hold close to my heart:

Home is where the healing is, and God is the ultimate healer.