Category Archives: Healing

Growth and Connection

GrowthandConnection

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I’ve heard the Easter story a million times. I’ve listened to the sermon and have been brought to tears because I am reminded just how much I am loved. I’ve heard how Jesus died a martyr’s death because He loved me beyond all my mistakes and mess ups.

I’ve been told more times then I can count that God see’s something in me. He invested a lot of time and energy by creating me because He sees the good in my sinful heart. That should make me feel better right??? Well, sometimes, not so much…

 

Today I am going to tell you a vulnerable truth. I often miss the whole point of what Jesus did on that cross for me because I forget that I will never be good enough.

I  find myself running around like a crazy woman trying to be the perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect friend, and perfect “Christian.” I want to please God and everyone around me so bad but somehow I feel like I always fall short. I exhaust myself trying to earn love and affection. It’s never enough so I’m left feeling hollow and empty.

“Life isn’t about Perfection it’s about growth and connection.”
– Holley Gerth –

We will never be good enough and God knew that. It’s a hard truth to take in. Trust me, I know. I struggle with it daily but thats when I have to remember God meets me where I am. Jesus died to bridge the gap.

Our imperfections are the reason why God sent His son. He sees something in us. He knows the daily tug of war that goes on inside our sinful hearts. He knows that we try really hard to follow Him. He walks beside us when we hit the T in the road. When we have to make the daily choice between good and evil. His Hand is on our shoulder while we choose which path to take and He keeps His grip tight, even when we choose the path we shouldn’t.

He picks us up when we fall and is there to redeem us when we are so low we feel as if we can’t possibly get up. When we utter the words, “forgive me Lord” He’s there to remind us that His love conquers all of our sin. We may not be good enough but He is.

I am going to hold onto that truth today. Will you join me?

~ Lovelle ❤

He Defines Me

Made New

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“I cried out to the Lord in my great trouble, and he answered me. I called to you from the land of the dead, and Lord, you heard me!
~ Jonah 2:2

I know the story of Jonah all to well because I’ve had his attitude about life more times than I would like to admit. I’ve stuck my nose up in disgust and went into a situation kicking and screaming. I’ve even ran away from God’s will and thrown myself into the the stomach of a whale willingly because I couldn’t bring myself to trust Him and His plans.

How wonderful is it that in the midst of my stubbornness God is ever so patient with me. When I am finally done forcing my way on God and am left shackled with the consequences of my choices I can just call up and ask to be rescued. He always answers and what’s more, is that He makes every moment a teachable moment. I think that’s my favorite part. Even when I think that I wasted both mine and God’s time, He whispers in my ear, “Daughter, I waste nothing”

I am choosing to embrace that today. For so long I lived a life feeling guilty because I didn’t always do the right things and I thought that’s what it took to be loved by Him. It feels so good to know I am not defined by my mistakes or my stubbornness. Nothing can separate me from His love {Rom. 8:39}.

In My darkest moment’s God is there. He’s seen me at my worst and He’s seen me at my best. In a world full of judgement and comparison He’s the one person I know will look at me for who I am and still manage to adore me. Instead of focusing on what I lack, I am choosing to focus on who I am:

I am Loved
Forever Made New
Always Forgiven
Called Out and Useful

Made Worthy
Always Wanted
AND YOU ARE TOO.

~ Lovelle ❤

When The Struggle Is Real

burdens

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The future I had so eloquently planned flashed before my eyes and dissolved in an instant as I looked at not one, but two pregnancy tests that had results I did not want. “This can not be happening.” I said to myself.

I looked up and saw my astonished husband with a hint of excitement in his eyes. The one dream he had treasured in his heart for a long time had come true. Not in the timing we thought but the big digital letters that spelled out PREGNANT couldn’t lie. Our life was about to change drastically.

I would love to sit here and tell you I was so excited about this news. I wish I could say I took it well, jumped up and down praising God for this gift not all women get the chance to experience but that would be a total lie.

When I entered this new season I came in kicking and screaming.  Graduate school, my crazy unrealistic idea of financial peace, and all the other dreams I had of working a job outside of the home were gone. They were replaced with the thought of staying home because babies aren’t cheep and momma’s need to take care of them. Like my amazing mother does for me, I knew that I had to accept putting my desires on hold to give this child the best life possible just like Jesus did when he died on the cross for me.

It’s surprising I know… I wasn’t happy that I was pregnant when I first found out. I was actually really ticked off. My face and my words couldn’t hide it. The fake, “thank you’s” when the news broke brought a lot of skeptical looks and not a lot of people knew how to respond. I got a bunch of, “I’m sorry. You are supposed to be happy’s” silence, and awkward stares.

The adversary tried his hardest to trap me with guilt. Children are a gift from the Lord right? I had seen first hand how hard it is on women to look at those negative pregnancy tests month after month and not be able to carry one of their own. I knew the pain my mom and dad felt while enduring 10 years of infertility. I knew first hand how it felt to not be wanted and here I was doing the same thing to our future child…

So here I am ten weeks later (a little more stable) and a lot more excited. We are gonna have a baby!!! I ALMOST believed the lie that my feelings made me a horrible person. As I spent time with Jesus He held me close, listened to my feelings without judgment, and spoke truth into my life. He also brought a few people who had been there to help me through this crazy process.

These lies right here are why I am writing this post. This is for the person going through a similar situation where your reaction isn’t resonating with society. This is for the child of God who never fully embraced how they REALLY felt Friend, I give you full permission and guess what??? So does Jesus.

Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
– Luke 22:42

Yes, our wonderful Savior who entered this earth; cried out to God because He wasn’t necessarily happy about the huge request that God was asking of him. God got him through his doubts and questions without judgement. He even did it for me, and He will do it for you too.

I grieved the future I so badly wanted. I cried out to God asking for help. With one test our future became so uncertain. I REALLY needed Him to change my heart and in time He did. He didn’t tell me that I was wrong or a horrible person. He sat there with me in my selfishness and unrealistic expectations, accepted my truthful feelings, and held me close.  My hope is that by reading this I can do that for you too…

It’s okay to not be happy about life hitting you like a ton of bricks. It’s perfectly normal to not have the “correct feelings”. When you embrace it, God can start working on your heart and draw you closer to Him. I promise, when you tell God how you REALLY FEEL, He WILL will be there to listen.

~ Lovelle ❤

It’s Never Too Late For a Happily Ever After

gsd-new-begining

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I’ve been given up on. I’ve been abused and neglected. I’ve seen things I would never wish on anyone and have used my circumstances as an excuse to be bitter and downright mean. I’ve made mistakes and said horrible things I wish I could take back and I’ve hurt people who don’t deserve it.

I’ve seen God change my heart and my mindset.

I’m hanging out with my God Sized Dreams friends today! Click here to read how I learned to embrace new beginnings and a happily ever after.

~ Lovelle ❤

Christ Is Freedom

Freedom

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She told me her sin, and the look on her eyes told me that the mistakes she had made cut her pretty deep. What hurt my heart wasn’t her sin, it’s the way she let it define her. She let her sin make her feel unworthy which started a cycle of settling on the dreams God had for her.

The adversary loves to make us feel unworthy because of our mistakes. He loves to make us feel like we are dirty and the lies he whispers into our ear makes us feel like we are too far gone but friend, I’m here to remind you that it’s not true. 

You are never too far gone.

Jesus didn’t lay down His life for us on that cross for us to settle because of our past mistakes. After all, He took tax collectors, sinners, and people considered dirty in the world’s eyes and made them disciples. 

Every trial is a testimony. Every single mistake gives us an opportunity to relate to others in a unique way. What if our trials can help others truly comprehend the grace of our Lord?

Mind blowing, isn’t it? There is worth to your dirtiness. That was God’s plan all along. Those who have found Christ are a new creation. The old is gone {2nd Cor. 5:17}. Don’t you ever forget that. 

God loves you where you are right now. In this very moment. In His eyes you are pure. My prayer today is that you not only remember it, but feel it deep in your precious soul.

~ Lovelle ❤

When the Weight of Life Sets In

Joy In the Morning

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Since I haven’t been successful at lifting weights on my own, I have dragged myself out of bed twice a week to attend a Weight Class that begins at 5:30am for the past few months. Every morning when the alarm blares in my ear, I find myself struggling to get out of the warm and comfy covers that are holding me captive.

This class is an hour of torture and I’m pretty sure the only thing that gets me through it is the promise that in a certain amount of time, I can put the weights down and go grab a nice, hot, cup of coffee. After all, who really enjoys getting up that early and being tortured?

It stinks so much at the time but the moment I put those weights down every bit of struggle I had to go through during that class makes it totally worth it, not to mention the changes I see in my muscles through perseverance and consistency.

Life is like a weight class. The struggle is real.

Every day we battle with things the advisory throws at us and at times, we want to run the other way or hide under the covers because lifting the weight seems almost impossible. Sleeping in and ignoring what our soul needs seems like the easiest route sometimes, but if we stick through the situation and depend on God, He will take our  bad situations and make us stronger. 

Today I am giving you full permission to flex those amazing muscles of yours because you’re equipped and ready. Not because you are capable.. None of us can do it on our own.

You are ready because you have the strength of the God of heaven’s armies on your side fighting for you.

~ Lovelle