Category Archives: Fearlessness

Friendships Worth Fighting For

NeverUnfriended

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Growing up I didn’t really have an example of what a healthy  relationship looked like so I frequently found myself looking for attention and love in all the wrong places. One of those places happened to be in friendships. I tried out friends like I tried on shoes at my favorite stores.

I would try the friendship out out real quick, maybe over a quick conversation involving coffee and some shallow topic. I would then decide if they were comfy enough to continue on to phase two. If they passed my inspection then maybe I would buy into investing some intentional time.

I would  often adore my friendships for a while but when the tiniest scuff appeared I got rid of them because they didn’t fit my expectations anymore. To me, a scuff meant that I could get even more hurt and I’m not about that life.

I continued that cycle for a long time and it was pretty lonely but then I met this girl at church with curly brown hair who was really interesting. She had managed to break down my walls more than any of my other friends and walked with the Lord in a way I hadn’t seen before. I guess you can say we hit it off pretty quick. All was well but then our friendship got a scuff.

“our relationships have subtle, yet powerful, lifelong impacts on us. This means that while they can burden us with unwelcome PTSD, they also have highly reparative capabilities too. The relationship patterns we have learned can become clues that lead us back to the scene of the original crime and equip us with tools to investigate, understand, and prevent it from happening again.”
~ Lisa-Jo Baker Never Unfriended

After some bickering we both left the conversation with some hurt and we weren’t sure how to fix it. We avoided each other for some time and it wasn’t fun.  Weeks passed and she asked me to meet up for coffee.

We had a pretty painful conversation and in the midst of it I remember saying the words,“your friendship is worth fighting for.” before I knew what had come out of my mouth. That conversation pointed out some bad habits I had kept harbored in my heart.

I realized that the personality God gave this woman was worth trudging through the occasional pain and conflict to find a resolution. Her walk with the Lord made me desire to be a better person and I looked up to her so much because she followed Jesus in a way I wanted to. She was worth being vulnerable and getting hurt. She was a friend I couldn’t even imagine unfriending over a petty argument. 

My friend and I still talk about the fight we had but now we look back and are so thankful it happened because it made our friendship stronger. After that fight I learned to stop making my friend carry the weight of unreasonable expectations and I began to embrace her for the person God made her.

My close friendships are like my favorite pair of shoes (my chaco’s) They are durable, comfortable, and I can walk through life with them because those things last forever. 

I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships by Lisa-Jo Baker. This book has helped me go out of my comfort zone to make new friends and it’s given me wonderful tools to be a good friend. If you pre-order the book before April 4th you can even get some free goodies!

I promise, after reading the book I can honestly say, your friendships and your soul will thank you. I know mine did. 🙂

~ Lovelle ❤

What My College Degree Means to Me

Our Circumstances2

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I walked to the stage in amazement. I never thought I would get here but I did. They announced my name and gave me my diploma. I could hardly hold back the tears.

I worked so hard for this.
I almost gave up so many times because it was so hard.
I shed so many tears trying to get to this place right here, right now.

6 years ago I was isolated and alone. I had dropped out of high school for over a year but managed to graduate on time by the grace of our Heavenly Father. College seemed to good for a girl like me.

That’s where the smart people went. You know, the ones with parents that believed in them and actually prepared them for it. I got shoved into a community college and until the first day of class, I didn’t know that college had a different schedule.

I didn’t realize that you didn’t go to school from 8am-3pm. Talk about a wake up call.

I felt so different and stupid compared to the other kids who actually seemed somewhat put together. There were so many nights with little sleep because school and working full time didn’t always mix.

I continued on and pushed myself forward, looking toward the finish line, uncertain of my future. The Lord is so faithful. 

Now I have parents and a huge support system cheering me on. Somehow they knew I could do it even when I didn’t think I could. They never let me give up. They listened to my cries and cheered me on all the way to the finish line.

As I held that bachelors degree as tight as I could with my cap and gown on I was so full of thankfulness. I am thankful that the Lord took a broken girl and did the impossible. He managed to make her a graduate not once, but twice.

He saw something in her that she didn’t know she had. He pursued her with everything He had and He constantly reminded her that His ways are no limit to her circumstances. 

He gave her healing.
He gave her parents.
He gave her an amazing husband.
He proved to her that she wasn’t as stupid as she thought she seemed.
He showed her that she was worthy.

Everything that was taken from her, God in His gracious love redeemed. That my friends is what my college degree means to me.

~ Lovelle ❤

 

 

Skating Through Failure

Be Used

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My husband was super awesome and decided to take me ice skating for our anniversary. All is fun and games until you step out on that ice skating rink and expect one slender piece of metal on each shoe to keep you balanced.

As much as I tried, the only thing I could think about was how much my booty would hurt if those little metal pieces failed me. It seemed like the more I worried, the more I wobbled, and the closer I came to falling down.

After a few minutes of struggle I finally just gave up not trying to fall and embraced the fact that I may end up hurting myself on the ice. Here’s the irony;

When I embraced the possibility of failure, I actually ended up skating really well.

I feel like life is a little like that slippery ice skating rink. This world tells us that perfection is a necessity and because of that, we end up focusing a little too much on failure.

What if we just embraced the fall?

What if we asked God how He could use our mistakes?

The fact is, we are sinners and as long as we are on earth, WE WILL Fail.

God did not give us a spirit of fear {2 Timothy 1:7} so don’t be scared of failure. Sometimes, even our hardest falls can make the biggest difference and teach us so much.

~ Lovelle ❤