{These graphics are free for you to enjoy}

“What’s going on???” She said through my computer screen with a face that looked more worried than I’d ever seen. I felt like I was failing every single day and was exhausted. I tried so hard to do things well but somehow I ended the day feeling like a failure.

The words, “bad wife, bad mom, bad employee” ran through my head and I thought they would never leave. I was on my feet from 7am-10pm trying to earn the title “good enough” It never seemed to work. To add to it, I would only get about 3 hours of sleep a night.  It was a pretty dark season.

I stopped talking and began avoiding. I put my walls up and was too ashamed to say anything because I thought that it was my fault and I needed to make it better on my own. In my head I was screaming, “help me” but on the outside my mouth was shut and my face held a smile that was pretty convincing to everyone but my mom.

I was filled with shame and guilt and the funny thing is that I didn’t even realize how bad it was. I hadn’t noticed that I shut everyone out. I didn’t realize that I had been living in survival mode. 

That day my mom pursued me. Instead of getting mad she asked me questions. She showed me what had been going on and for the first time in a long time I felt like I could see some light at the end of the  dark tunnel. She told me I was worth it. She reminded me that my actions didn’t define me.

I want to be that kind of person.

I want to look past the hurt and see the diamond. When something is off I want to investigate until I understand what is going on. I want to encourage and ask tough questions. I want to be the kind of friend that fights for that relationship. To be the hand that grasps the one tangled in the lies of the enemy. Maybe you do too???

~ Lovelle ❤