Adoption and Marriage: Five Things I Have Learned in the Transition


{These graphics are free for you to enjoy on my “seeds to sow page! This photo was taken by Marina Bromley.}

A little over a year ago my life changed dramatically {in a good way}. I went from an extremely long season of being alone with no one to having amazing parents and a husband and it’s been quite the transition. I have had to learn a lot and I have had to take a step back and really acknowledge what’s important to me.

1.) It’s not about me:
I used to live a life dependent on myself which caused me to just think about what is best for me. Now that I am married, I have realized that one of the best things I can do for my husband is put him first and not expect anything in return. My husband is already amazing at that and this has really helped both of us transition {especially me} because selfless love is biblical and it creates a very happy and loving environment.

2.) I don’t have to simply survive anymore:
I got a phone call a while ago that put my stress level on high. My car had a couple recalls which meant it would need to spend a whole day in the shop. How am I supposed to get to work? If I don’t work I can’t pay the bills. If I can’t pay the bills then I will be homeless, carless, and hungry.

One look at my husband calmed me down. I realized I had switched to survival mode but I wasn’t alone anymore. I used to have to be dependent on my car and I used to have to fix problems myself but now I don’t because I have people that can help me and want to help me. What a relief!

3.) It’s all about the little things:
My mom surprised me with coffee at work on one of the longest and hardest days. It was a simple gesture but it meant the world. It’s little things like family dinners or my husband taking some time to help me clean the house. It reminds me that I have a team of people encouraging me. I may not see it sometimes but they truly believe that I am capable of success.

4.) Family comes first:
Before my husband and parents came into the picture I had a completely full schedule. Over full to be exact… I have learned that above all else, family comes first which means leaving my schedule open so that I can spend time with them. Things change and people will constantly come in and out of my life but my family remains and I need to cherish every moment I have with them.

5.) Normal is just a setting on the washing machine:
Coming from an unstable household really influenced what kind of environment I want.
1. No arguing in front of kids
2. No yelling.
3. We don’t fight, we discuss

The list goes on and on… One day my husband looked at me and said, “Lovelle, some of your expectations are kind of unrealistic.”

It turns out my past had haunted me so much that it caused me to become unrealistic about my expectations. No family is perfect. No home is perfect but that’s why Jesus came. He is full of grace and forgiveness that is abundant.

Our family is full of imperfect people but our God is better than that. As long as we put Him first then we will get through whatever trials come our way. Transitions are a part of life. I will gladly admit that I have a long way to go.

This year has certainly been hard but it is totally worth it. It’s through the trials that I learn and develop. I am so grateful for a patient and loving God who is with me every step of the way. What trials are you facing? What is God teaching you in this season of life?

~ Lovelle ❤

4 thoughts on “Adoption and Marriage: Five Things I Have Learned in the Transition

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