I see a little boy going up to a his friend’s house because the girl hadn’t shown up for school. He finds the girl terrified and as the girl shakes with fear he suddenly realizes why she never wanted to go home all of those times before…

“Jenny! Where are you!?!” her dad yells from the back porch.

The scared little girl grabs the boy’s hand and says, “run Forrest!” The intoxicated man throws the beer bottle on the ground and starts running after them. They ran as fast as they could only to realize that they can’t outrun her dad.

With one last ounce of hope she grabs the boys hand, gets down on her knees and yells in desperation, “pray with me Forrest!” and over and over again the girl says,

Dear God,
make me a bird so I can fly far far away…

The scene in Forrest Gump ends and the past begins to flood my mind. I begin to remember all of those nights that I would be on my knees asking God to take me out of my abusive home. I also remember how it didn’t happen.

As my husband holds me with his strong and protective arms and I am reminded of God’s mysterious ways. It’s easy to blame God and accuse him of not being there but what if I told you that He was holding you through every bad trial you endured?

While you look at yourself in the mirror, feeling dirty and when you feed into all the lies, God is staring back with the most adoring eyes.

When you feel alone and defeated, He is there with you. When you fall, He is holding you up. He is the strength that sustains you and He is the one deciding your steps when you feel you can’t go on anymore.

I know because it’s in my lowest that I feel God most of all…

{These graphics are free for you to enjoy}

Yes, I was abused.

Yes, at random times the pain still occurs.

However, I am not my pain or my past and neither are you.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is ask God “Why?” I don’t know why my step dad did what he did and I don’t care because my God is bigger than what was done to me. His love overcame it all.

God did what no man can do. He redeemed me. On that cross, He alone made me new. So in those hard times I will run to the feet of my Savior because answers won’t make me feel any better. Only His love can.

When Peter told his listeners in 1 Peter 4:8 that love covers a multitude of sins I know that he wasn’t only talking about the sins they committed. I believe that he was referencing the sins that were done to us, too.

You see, it takes love to save, but it takes love to forgive. Jesus was the first example of that when He was being beaten and spat at on that cross. We see true redemption in the words, “Lord forgive them for they do not know what they have done.”

Abuse is real and healing is a process. I love that even in my pain, when I can barely even whisper, “Lord make me feel better” I know without a doubt that God is there and He is better than what I am going through now.

That fact may not take away the pain but it helps me sustain. If you’re hurting today I just want you to know that God says it’s going to be okay…

~ Lovelle ❤