It’s four am and I can’t sleep.

As I look at the bags piled up by the door tears begin to run down my cheeks and the realization of what’s to come floods my mind and emotions begin to fill my heart.

Today is the day that I leave the nest.

Today is the day I leave my home.

I remember the day I moved in like it was yesterday. The memories of this place will be forever etched in my mind because my home was my birthday present from Jesus. After three years of moving constantly, thirteen times to be exact, my prayer was answered.

I walked through the doors with a trash bag full of belongings and a painful past that followed me everywhere I went. I had never lived in a place that didn’t use the words, “this is my house!” and wherever I went I walked on eggshells.

I lived in constant fear that I would be kicked out. When I moved in I realized that here I was safe. I was loved and taken care of and the best part was that no one would take that away.

I made memories and had tender moments with many precious women. Sometimes, I laughed so hard I cried. I found community and I learned how to trust. It was here that I moved past the mindset that the only way to get through life was to survive.

My home taught me what grace is. I learned that I am good enough and I don’t need to earn peoples love. It was here I faced my fears, and I stopped running from my problems.

It was in these sacred walls that I found healing. 

I feel like I’m on top of a mountain succeeding after a long hard climb. I can take a deep breath because it’s going to be okay.

I have survived.

I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t scared of what’s to come. Life seems so uncertain still, and at times, it’s still hard to accept the fact that I am loved. One thing that I know for sure is that God is here and He will guide me in the unknown.

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Home is where the healing is and Saving Grace will forever be the house that built me.