Today is a very special day for me. I work at the YMCA as a Welcome Center Staff, a Preschool Assistant, and an After School Care Counselor. Today is special because it’s my last day. Today I leave many regular members that I great, talk to, and pray with every time I see them. I leave 40 adorable but stressful children to work with a different set of children God wants me to touch. I leave behind fights I have had to break up, activities I have had to plan, and managers who didn’t always teach me the necessary tools I needed to be the best worker I could be. Today I leave behind two preschool classes of little innocent kids that have a whole life ahead of them. In the year and a half I have worked in the preschool I have already seen so much growth. I am not a parent but there is just something exciting about having a kid you help potty train come up to you and say “Ms. Lovelle, I did it! Can you help me button my pants…” I can remember quite a few times when I almost gave up because I was so frustrated with my job. I didn’t give up though, I kept hanging in there and now that it’s officially over. Now I am starting a new season in my life and the little girl inside of me is screaming at me in my head, “GO BACK TO WHAT YOU KNOW!” The little girl inside me is saying, “stay because you know your doing okay in this job. You can’t screw up at this and you have more control of your situation.” But that’s not what God is saying to me.
“Yet God has made everything beautiful for it’s own time. He has planed eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”
~ Ecclesiastes 3:11
From what I hear summer camp consists of extremely long hours and the use of a lot of energy. You take a huge pay cut and lose all access to the outside world. You leave your cell phone, iPod, and all other types of technology at the gate and you are only allowed to have them on your day off. My day off is once every 7 or 8 days. You see many cute faces and have the opportunity to spread the love of Jesus. You take very little with you but when you come back, you bring a lot more than just the few suit cases worth of stuff you brought in. When you come out you bring new friendships, life changing experiences, and Growth in your relationship with The Heavenly Father. To me, what I get out of camp and bring back is worth more than I will ever give up. I am super excited for this experience but the little girl inside is full of fear as well…
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s presence which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
The little girl inside me worries that she won’t do good enough. She worries that she won’t make a difference and that she will end up hurting the kids instead of touching them with the love of Jesus. She has random thoughts of “They won’t like you”, “You don’t belong there”, and “You don’t have enough experience”…. Those thoughts are in her head because the little girl inside has lost control. She doesn’t know what all will happen this summer. She is forced to drop all potential plans and acknowledge the fact that she has to take it day by day. Only then can she find out what all God has planned for this summer and job wise in the fall.
Oh me and my control issues… Control is definitely something God is working with me to fix. Unlike me, God is all knowing. He knows where I will work this fall. He knows exactly what he wants me to learn and experience this summer. IT WILL HAPPEN! All I need to do is simply sit back and watch. Despite the fears and thoughts that the little girl inside me is having, I refuse to listen.
If you, like me, are walking in an unknown and terrifying situation, I encourage you to look towards God. Hold Philippians 4:6-7 close to your heart. God’s got your back and he leaves you with this promise:
Beloved Child, I know the plans I have for you and they will come to pass exactly as I want them to. Stay close to me and I promise to hold your hand and be there for you as you walk in this unknown territory. I WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE YOU. You are mine! You are special to me and I would never give you something that I knew you weren’t capable of succeeding in. My grace is sufficient and will sustain you in the times that are dark. With me in your heart, you can and will change the world. You do this by displaying me in your actions. Never forget that I love you and I am so proud of you. You are forever my chosen child.