Because of Who He Is We Are Capable

In the moments of doubt I will remember

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“Do I have to use that??” She said as she pointed to a top sheet wadded on the floor next to her bed.” I smiled to myself because I specifically remembered being in that same place 3 and a half years prior.

“Do you know what this is?” I asked her. She didn’t and so I told the 17 year old how, not too long ago I asked the same question to my husband. I had been in her same shoes. I didn’t understand the purpose of the sheet that didn’t have elastic on the edges.

I told her what my husband told me. “It protects the comforter so we don’t have to wash it as often.” Sure enough, I heard an, “oooohhhhhh I get it.” She had the same response I did. Then I taught her how to put it on her bed.

The next day I made tacos for lunch and after folding my taco a 15 year old girl said, “That is so cool. How do you do that?” I leaned over her plate, grasped the tortilla in my hands, and gently folded it so that all the taco meat was nice and snug just like my grandfather had done for me 16 years prior.

Every single thing I went through had led me to that moment. The moment when my husband and I were the guardians of two girls not too much younger than us. Girls who didn’t get to choose their upbringing, but because of their age and culture they found themselves struggling to find a place to lay their head.

They longed for stability but couldn’t seem to keep a house. Their faces had, “nobody wants me” written all over them. We thought we were crazy. Were we in over our heads? The circumstances leading them to our home only from God but this is not what we had in mind when we signed up to foster.

God laughed at our plans and threw them in the trash just like we knew He would. He gave us an understanding of the girls that we needed to parent them when few before us could. Everything we had experienced prepared us. The organizations we had volunteered with, past work experience, and life experiences were meant for the very season full of hormones and giggles. We had no idea but God did. 

The girls were great. They fit right into our house and we were beyond blessed to have them, even for just a season. Too young? Maybe. But if not us then who? In our area alone there are 593 kids in foster careThere are only 193 foster homes for those kids.

With our home full there is now 192 foster homes that need to somehow make room for 591 kids. A lot of times that doesn’t happen so kids sleep in DHS offices and shelters or they get shipped to a place hours away from their home making it hard for friends and family to see them. We’ll take being too young. We are willing to be uncomfortable and step out of our comfort zone. We may not be able to help them all but we can help 1 or 2 at a time.

In my moments of doubt I will remember that God has prepared us for moments like this. In my weakness, He is strong. He wouldn’t have put us in this place if He didn’t think we were capable.

Are you in a season of discomfort? Everything you’ve experienced has led you to this very place. It’s okay. We don’t have to understand why we are doing it. We don’t have to feel qualified. All we have to know is that God is in control and because of who He is, we are capable.

~ Lovelle ❤

Be That Person

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“What’s going on???” She said through my computer screen with a face that looked more worried than I’d ever seen. I felt like I was failing every single day and was exhausted. I tried so hard to do things well but somehow I ended the day feeling like a failure.

The words, “bad wife, bad mom, bad employee” ran through my head and I thought they would never leave. I was on my feet from 7am-10pm trying to earn the title “good enough” It never seemed to work. To add to it, I would only get about 3 hours of sleep a night.  It was a pretty dark season.

I stopped talking and began avoiding. I put my walls up and was too ashamed to say anything because I thought that it was my fault and I needed to make it better on my own. In my head I was screaming, “help me” but on the outside my mouth was shut and my face held a smile that was pretty convincing to everyone but my mom.

I was filled with shame and guilt and the funny thing is that I didn’t even realize how bad it was. I hadn’t noticed that I shut everyone out. I didn’t realize that I had been living in survival mode. 

That day my mom pursued me. Instead of getting mad she asked me questions. She showed me what had been going on and for the first time in a long time I felt like I could see some light at the end of the  dark tunnel. She told me I was worth it. She reminded me that my actions didn’t define me.

I want to be that kind of person.

I want to look past the hurt and see the diamond. When something is off I want to investigate until I understand what is going on. I want to encourage and ask tough questions. I want to be the kind of friend that fights for that relationship. To be the hand that grasps the one tangled in the lies of the enemy. Maybe you do too???

~ Lovelle ❤

Exciting News!!!

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Sooooo, I’ve got a confession to make…. I’ve kept a little secret for over a year. It’s been a struggle to keep it in and today I can FINALLY share it with you guys! (in)courage is releasing a BRAND NEW CBS Devotional Bible and I have some devotions in it! How cool is that?!?

Here’s the down-low…

  • There are 312 devotions written by 122 writers (INCLUDING ME!!!) with stories from women in all seasons of life.
  • The devotions are organized into 10 themes, and each theme has a distinct color and design in the Bible.
  • Each theme also has its own reading plan to guide you through a beautiful experience of Scripture.
  • There are 50 Women of Courage featured with biographical profiles throughout the biblical text.
  • Each of the 66 introductions (one for each book of the Bible) are original to draw you into the overarching biblical narrative.

There are soooo many more features — each one that has something special just for you!

This beauty will be released on October 1, 2018 and you don’t have to wait for it! You can sign up for a FREE 54-page sampler. It includes two full books of the Bible (Esther and Romans), several devotions, reading plans, and more.

You can also learn more about the bible by hitting up this blog post by (in)courage or checking out the video they posted today on their Facebook Page.

I am so humbled and thankful to be a part of this project. (in)courage has helped me so much in my faith and with life in general. From interning there in college, getting to know all the women on a personal level, and gaining encouragement at some of my lowest points. They’ve walked through so much with me and I truly believe that this bible can help you as you pursue God’s path for your life.

Last but not least, I want each and every one of you reading this to know how thankful I am for you. You’ve encouraged me, walked beside me, and believed in me. I’ve always felt called to speak and write but to be honest, I don’t always feel qualified or capable.

You’ve walked along side my journey and reminded me that God doesn’t need qualifications to use me. He needs my heart, willingness, and obedience to step out into scary waters. The words I’ve written in this bible come from the heart and they have you in mind. I hope you know that.

~ Lovelle ❤

The One Who Calls Me Is Faithful

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There are days I feel like I am walking on a tight rope and I think I might just fall at any second. In 4 years my life has changed so much. I’ve skipped a social class and had to learn how to live life in a completely different way. Poverty and Middle Class are so different. There are so many unspoken things people don’t tell you.

I’ve also gone from being alone to having an adopted family as well as family I married into. I’ve had to learn to rely on and trust people. I had to come to the realization that accepting help doesn’t mean I am taking advantage, incapable, or weak.

Like a Chameleon, I’ve tried to blend into new family groups as if I’ve always been in them when I have no idea what “family” looks like and I feel like I just stand out. 

I became a mom and had to learn to care of someone other than myself in a healthy way when I didn’t have anyone growing up who showed me what that looked like. I’ve had to learn nursery rhymes, bible songs, and baby talk. I’ve had to learn to trust, to be loved, and to live life day by day.

I’ve had to learn to stop preparing for any possible situation because I no longer have to worry about getting kicked out, being homeless, or having enough money to pay bills. No longer do I have to choose between having enough gas to get to school or feeding myself for the rest of the week.

I’ve had to re-train my brain to stop making plans for the “what if’s and I’ve had to learn to stop expecting the worst to happen because it won’t. I’m stable now and I have people around me that will help if something goes wrong.

I’m not on my own anymore. I’ve had to learn to accept help and to believe that I am wanted when I was told that I wasn’t for 20 years of my life.

*sigh*

That’s how I feel some days. I just have to take a deep breath and keep going. So much around me has changed and I’m not sure that I am keeping up. I feel overwhelmed and clueless. Like I’m not cut out for whats expected of me and I can’t ask for help because not very many people have walked in my shoes.

The one who calls me is faithful.

Whatever we are going through, learning, or having to re-learn. The one who calls us is faithful. If we fall off that tight rope He will catch us. We are called for such a time as this. To grow and to learn. To reap and to sow.

We have a divine purpose that is preparing us for those pearly gates. Whenever I lose hope or get discouraged I try to remember that. I don’t know what your story looks like. Maybe you moved to a new town or are in an unfamiliar season.  Maybe you started a new job and are overwhelmed with having to adjust to your new “normal.”

The one who calls you is faithful. Our God is the initiator, sustainer, and finisher in the midst of our messy moments. You don’t have to be in control and you don’t need to know the outcome because the one who knit you in your mothers womb does.

~ Lovelle ❤

 

Hope for the Weary Momma

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It was 2:30am and I was still awake cleaning my house. I had gotten sick so my normal pickup and decluttering got neglected. I knew that unless I sacrificed some sleep, the to-do-to list would just pile up even more. So despite having to be to work at 8:30 the next morning, I kept going until it was finished. Or so I thought….

It seems like every time I check one thing off of my list 2 or 3 more things pile back on. I’m never done. I’ve got a child to keep alive and a house to keep decent. Between cooking, cleaning, nurturing, and picking up after everyone I am left with little time to do things for myself. I can’t tell you how many times I haven’t sat down and relaxed on the couch until 9pm or later.

I’ve had moments of frustration and anger. Moments when I just wanted to run away because I didn’t want to be a wife or a mom. I’ve felt exhausted and overwhelmed. I’ve thought like I can’t live up to what I am supposed to be. And you know what…. I’m pretty sure I am not the only woman who’s felt this way.

We are woman
Nurturers
Care Givers and a fighters.

Our armor consists of baggy eyes, spit up, and cold coffee in our cups. We fight hard for our people because we desperately want what is best for them. We sacrifice  for those we care about and will do anything to make them happy. We love hard and oftentimes, that means pushing our desires to the side.

We complete the task ahead of us and the bags under our eyes don’t define who we are as a wives or a moms. What we do matters and it is appreciated. We will love our people hard and give them our because that’s what the Lord does for us.

Momma, I see you. I see those dirty dishes on the counter and that basket full of laundry. I see the living room that keeps getting messed up even though you’ve picked it up like 20 times in the last hour. I see those dark circles and that extra big cup of cold coffee. I see the weariness and I wish I could hug you and tell you that it’s okay. Fighting is hard work. 

Keep goin’ momma. What you do matters even if you don’t see it and don’t feel appreciated. It’s totally cool to choose sleep over that shower for the second day in a row. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Find joy in that mundane to-do list and don’t forget to ask God for energy. Love your people hard and hold them close. God sees your sacrifices and uses it. You are doing great.

~ Lovelle ❤

A Letter To My Daughter On My First Mother’s Day

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I blinked and you were 8 months old. I turned my head for what seemed like a second and you changed so much. Your smile melts my heart and your determination makes me so happy. Just today you cried out because you wanted to walk so bad but had to hold your daddy’s hand.

I know that the determination I see in you now will one day cause us to butt heads. I am fully aware of the fact that one day you will be able to speak words. At times those words will be the language of teenagers; sarcasm and that language will cause you to push buttons.

You will do things you aren’t supposed to do. You will get into trouble. Despite all of this, I promise to show you how to use your determination the right way. After all, it helped me get through some really hard things.

God gave you determination for a reason. I really, really love that about you. God has a plan for it and He will use it. One day it will take you a long way. It won’t take you very far if it involves disobeying your parents.

You wiggle and move so much. It makes life so much fun. I can’t turn my back for even a second. If I do I’ll find you reaching your tiny hand towards the electric cord or playing in the dogs water bowl.

I’m going to cherish these moments because one day that tiny hand won’t be so tiny. One day that hand will reach for bigger and better things that are way more fun (and safe.. well… maybe not.) One day you will reach for bigger goals and you will chase those dreams the Lord will lay on your heart.

I’ll worry about your safety and I’ll miss your presence. In those moments and more, I promise to always pray for you and trust that God has got you in the palm of His hand. After all, you ultimately belong to Him.

I’ve already seen you fall down so much. and I know that there will be bigger and harder falls to come. I promise to always be there to wipe away your tears and I promise to always help you get back up.

I hope you never feel too ashamed to use your mistakes for God’s kingdom. I hope you walk in confidence with the knowledge that you are His. Nothing can separate you from His love. It’s in our weakness that He is strong and I hope you boast in your weakness.

I promise to run behind you as you run the race God has set before you. I promise to push you up every hill you will face and cheer you on as you keep running toward that finish line. If you get lost, I promise to point you to the person who can redirect your path.

I wish I could keep you little. I wish you could always be the tiny girl I see in front of me but I can’t so I am going to embrace every moment I have with you. You are the gift I never knew I needed. You bring my life so much joy. Eula Ellen Myers, I am so, so thankful that I get to be your momma.

~ Lovelle ❤

P.S. Happy Mother’s day to all woman out there. We are all moms in some way or another. I know that I have personally been impacted by quite a few, “mom’s” in my 25 years of life and I wouldn’t be the mom I am today without their guidance.

I pray that each and every one of you know how loved and appreciated you are. I hope you know that we need you and are so thankful for you. My prayer is that your Mother’s Day is filled with joy and maybe even a little break from those chores.

XOXO ❤

 

Refining in the Hardship

We live in a world where we can get anything we want with the simple touch of our fingertip. It even includes 2 day shipping. There are so many times I get upset because I am not seeing myself progress in a “timely” manner. There are moments I get mad because my plans aren’t panning out.

In those moments I am reminded of Moses. He put in a lot of work. He endured a lot of hardship and listened to A LOT of complaints. After dealing with all of that, he didn’t even get to see the promised land. 

Friend, life is so hard. Can we just take a second to acknowledge that? It makes you ugly cry and want to scream into a pillow. It can bring out the worst in you.

There are times that God will ask us to sit in the hardship. We may not be able to see it but the misery is changing us for the better. The hardship leaves us with bruises and scars that remind us just how human we are.

We will fall down and make mistakes. But we will get back up and keep going. We will push ourselves further. Even when we don’t feel like moving anymore. We will look towards that cross because it is full of grace, mercy, forgiveness, and endurance. 

Consider me your virtual cheerleader. I’m waving around pom-pom’s while you take another step. I’m on the sidelines holding up a sign that says, “go girl!” and jumping up and down with excitement because I know you can win this battle.

We serve a faithful God who has a perfect plan for you. As you take life on like a boss, my prayer is that you somehow find His faithfulness woven into your steps.

~ Lovelle ❤